Friday, December 30, 2005

Peeping thru cracks in the veneer...

So here we are at the doorstep of yet another New Year…will be a few days until one gets used to writing 2006 instead of 2005…

I don’t feel particularly inclined to look back at the year that was…

The past few days had me busy trying to blog in my mother tongue- and I was successful- had a bit of a tough time downloading the font and the editor- Jithu helped me with it- and then typing in Manglish which the editor would transliterate to Malayalam like magic- and then tho it was daunting- felt mighty pleased after I posted my first full length blog in Malayalam…the comments too were encouraging…

Tho I think my thoughts in Malayalam, I’m more at ease with English when I need to express in writing and now when I try to recreate them in written Malayalam, I realise its not all that easy…but I’m enjoying the exercise…I learnt the Malayalam script from home- amma taught me during school vacations- and though I did not enjoy the lessons, today I’m grateful to her for having taught me to read and write in my mother tongue too…

DH has gone to Kerala on an official errand- MIL has also accompanied him- (every year during the xmas hols, kids and me would go to my parents' place- this year could not becos of elder son’s half yearlies…)they’ll be attending a wedding too- it is a wedding which I’d’ve loved to attend- we’ve known the groom since his childhood days- his parents used to be my local guardians while I was in college- DH too knew them well- many old friends and relatives would be attending – am quite disappointed…

DH, MIL, BIL, Co-sis-& kids all went for the wedding – felt quite green- and when co sis called to tell me how much fun they were having, how much they were missing me… I didn’t feel too good abt it would be putting it rather mildly and politely... but of course I answered in a cheery voice: "Haffun"!!

And when DH called me later- I threw a right royal “subtle” tantrum over the phone- I do permit immature, childish ardra to peep thru cracks in the carefully, painstakingly nurtured “mature” “understanding”, “tolerant” veneer of ardra- when the occasion demands. btw, only DH is privileged to witness ardra’s tantrums- its his pet prerogative- after all he’s to be given the chance to manaaofy me na? I spoke very curtly- formally- made sure he got the message- and he sure did…he sure has learnt a few things in the 17 years that we’ve been t’gether…

he proceeded to tell me how he did not enjoy at all- how he missed us- ahhh- he’s still good at this…and I let him placate me…how I miss him…

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Nobody has tagged me, but I've just rustled up an amalgamation of random facts about me from the various tags that I found here on blogland:
1.10 years ago:
can't remember anything special- just living the ordinary life. oops, almost forgot, my youmger son was born 10 years ago.
2. 5 years back:
hmmm…The beginning of the new Millennium – nothing special-
3.Last year:
Finally, found something to remember- met a few bloggers- it was a great experience- the planning, the anticipation, the excitement, the actual meet, and then the nostalgia, the memories- every single thing abt it was memorable!
Helped my elder son with his Social Studies project: "Archeological Heritage of India"- made a B'day card for his friend- including the wordings inside, had to remind him to atleast write his name in it.
5. yummy things:
Spicy Samosas
Gulab Jamuns
Vegetable Pulav
Baby corn crispies
Scoop of Strawberry ice cream doused with orange syrup, ½ cup Mirinda, topped with caramel and cashew crips….A ship can sink in my mouth now…slurrrrp!
6. things I know by heart:
Some "puraanaZamaana" Lata hits…
7.things I'd do if I had a lot more money:
Buy books, more books and even more books.
Buy lots of Music.
Splurge on gifts for all those I love…friends and relatives…
Buy the latest model cell phone- unfortunately I don't have too many people to call- but I love fiddling with it and smsing...
-Hmmm, one more to go- ok, may be go on a world tour with hubby?
8. places/ things I escape to:
Into my thoughts.
My room…
As it is I'm most of the time in "manoraajyam"- I don't need to escape as such-
9. things I'd never wear!
Swim suit!
Slip on shoe wear and heels.
Make up. ( only kajal and talc)
10. favourite TV shows:
Sa ri ga ma pa
Saat Phere
11.things I enjoy doing:
Reading blogs, and posts on SL.
Reading books Reading mails/letters.
Singing, Dancing.
Talking to DH, singing with him as we cook.
Talking to a dear, special Friend.
Listening to music, Watching Dance ( Bharathanatyam, Odissi, Kathakali)
Watching certain movies.
Konjifying, playing with babies…
Meeting my cousins.
Spending time with my brother and talking into the wee hours of the morning.
Savouring that feeling of affection while both receiving and giving…those moments of awareness of being cherished- be it in any relationship- are the moments when I feel the Beauty of Life and Existence…and I feel so Happy, grateful and contented….
12.Where did most of your money go this year?
Eating out, Telephone bills.
13.What do you wish you'd done more of?
more of writing…
14.What do you wish you'd done less of?
Succumbing to my moods of anger, sulk mode…morose silences ...
15.Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi
Chhaav hai kabhi, kabhi dhoop zindagi
Har pal yahaan Jee bhar jiyo
Jo hai sama Kal ho na ho…
16.Things That Scare Me:
Illness/Loss of loved ones
Uncertainity of Life
My lack of strength to face crises
17.Things I Like:
Music, Dance, books, friends,my pc, my diary…
18.Important Things In My Room:
My pc, my diary, my husband, my telephone, my books. (not necessarily in that order:-))
19. Random Facts About Me:
I wish I had long hair.
I love to sing aloud.
I guffaw aloud.
I bite my nails.
I clean my toes with a safety pin-
I make faces in the mirror, I act out certain scenes, dialogues in front of the mirror when I'm alone.
I sing and sometimes dance when I cook.
I cry very easily- I express affection without inhibition-
I love loving…
I do not like crowds, functions, cooking…any hard work…
I'm paranoid abt the well being abt my loved ones.
20.Things I Plan on Doing Before I Die:
Read many more books, write a few books,
learn dancing once again,
meet Amitabh Bachhan, Jaya Bachchan ...
Do my M.A in English Literature, then M.phil, then thesis…
( Dreaming is not illegal is it?:-))
21.Things That I Can Do, or Have Done:
I can sing, dance-
I can laugh aloud a lot,
I can cry easily-
I can love and hate with equal fervour- but I'm trying to bring down the latter,
I can rave and rant like a mad hag-
I can scream and screech-
22.Things That I Cannot Or Will Not Do:
I'll not commit murder,
I'll not spit outside,
I'll not wear a swimsuit ( I don't know to swim) ,
I'll not learn to drive,
I'll not speak ill of others to anybody except my hubby and mom!
I'll not insult others, or poke fun at others.
23.Things I Say The Most:
"hayyada" ( the way asin says in M. Kumaran son of Mahalakshmi, but I've always been doing it )
PPP – "Palliyil poyi Paranjaal mathi"- meaning something to the effect of: go and tell this elsewhere, not to me :-)
"Please" and "sorry"…
24.Celebs on Whom I Have A Crush :
Well, I've grown out of the crush- but I still like them:
Amitabh Bachchan, Mamootty, Aamir Khan, Sachin Khedekar, Nana Patekar, Gurudutt.
25.Celebs that I like in an affectionate way:
Surya, Abhishek Bachchan, Arshad Warsi, Sunjay Dutt ( tho he's much older, I can see him only as an adorable, naughty brat like in Munnabhai)
26.And female celebs:
Jaya Bachchan, Shobhana, Hema Malini (tho I don't like her acting), Tabu, Waheeda Rehman , Deepthi Naval,
27.Favourite Movies:
Pakeezah, Guddi, Abhimaan, Saahib Biwi aur Ghulam, Pyaasa, Kaagaz ke phool, Kabhie Kabhie, Parichay, Vijeta, Kalyug, Chashme Baddoor, jaane bhi do yaaron, Angoor, Devdas, Dil chahtha hai, That touch of Mink, Sound of Music, Finding Nemo, Lion King, Jungle Book, Parinayam, Meghamalhaar, Kaanamarayatthu, Kalki ( Tamil), Kaathal, Autograph, 5 Star(Tamil), most of M.T.Vasudevan Nair's screenplays…

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

falling down and picking up...

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall- ardra vamshi had a little fall!

Thankfully- I did not break and there was no need to put me t’gether…

Nothing as grandiose as a tumble down a long flight of stairs- just a fabulous skid on the tile floor in our living room- was in a bit of a hurry- and so my feet decided to take up the responsibility- except that in the bustle they forgot to carry the rest of me and “thud” I landed on my seat- get the picture? For a sec, me, my elder son who was the lucky spectator to this Kodak moment- we just froze waiting for the incident to register…my vallyamma sprang up from the sofa alarmed- hubby came running to rescue his damsel (?!) in distress- and the younger son just watched the spectacle unfold- my left hand, the only alert part of me during the entire proceedings rushed to break my fall- and ended up with an ugly inflammation- I’m eternally indebted to my arm for this timely intervention- I shudder to contemplate abt the condition of my backbone otherwise!

I remember I was terrified that maybe there was a fracture- or that i had dislocaed a disc or some such vital bone somewhere! For me, the fear and anxiety is always more than the physical pain...

That night was agony, could not even lie down- the horizontal posture caused a nerve to be pulled and there I was refusing to lie down- and all this without a fracture- I remember stubbornly counting my blessings – that there was no fracture- that it was my left arm, and that I could still manage certain vital movements with relatively less pain. Hubby finally tied up my arm tightly in a cloth splint and that helped a lot…

Suddenly, my left arm morphed into a seperate entity- all those movements that one performed in reflex- without a pause- seemed so difficult-

my brother has tactfully reminded me..." no more running around- we're getting on in age"

The next few days saw me languishing in lethargy- wearing a cloth sling- and watching hubby and vallyamma running around doing the chores- the pharmacist was requested by the ortho doc to get me a sling in the colour of the dress I was wearing while at the hospital- pls get her the oxford blue one-

Neighbours came down to visit- was the centre of attention- and now after ten days- am off the sling now- the pain is almost gone and am back in action!